Choices, choices….
I’m a grandmother. That means that some readers will automatically roll their eyes when they find I’ve written about my grandchild. If you’ve been reading this blog, you will recognize my grandson, who was taught about our invisible horses by his older cousin.
When I tell you this grandson of mine is a very bright, imaginative little boy—it isn’t just the praise of a loving grandmother you’re hearing. Here’s what I mean….
He was giving his mother a hard time again. This quiet, rather intense and focused young woman did sometimes have a hard time with her mercurial, super-active and irreverent four-year-old son. For not the first time that day, she put him in his room for a time-out, closed the door and walked away. Absolutely furious, TG flung the door open and stepped out into the hall. Reaching around the door, he turned the lock on the doorknob, slammed the now-locked door, and marched up to his mother. “Now,” he proclaimed, hands on his hips, “you can’t put me in time-out any more!”
This lovely daughter-in-law is not given to fits of temper. However, I can well imagine a fit brewing when she looked down at her belligerent child that afternoon. But this Mom, by virtue of her nature and her work, is a creative problem-solver. Turning away from TG, she went to find her tool box, and returned with it to the door in question. Methodically she unscrewed the hinges and lifted the door out of its frame. Leaning it against the hallway wall, she looked down at her wide-eyed son and said, “Now you no longer have a door at all. When you find that you can behave again, we will put it back. Having a door is a privilege, not a right.”
Shocked and a bit confused by his mother’s action, TG didn’t quite know what to make of the door situation. He attempted bravado, declaring that it was just fine to have a room with no door. TG, however, has a little sister who is nearly two. If you’ve ever been around a nearly-two-year-old, you already know what TG discovered: they’re into everything! There was no toy, no book, no puzzle, no monster truck that was sacred. It wasn’t long before he was following his mother around, wailing about his little sister’s invasion of his space. In response his mother repeated “Having a door is a privilege, not a right,” and TG began to see how that might be true.
Eventually he earned his door and it was replaced for him. It was a valuable lesson his mother taught that day. And in a way, a teaching that was very reflective of God’s love. She taught him that he might choose his behaviors and his responses, but he must be willing to live with the consequences of those choices. It’s called “free will” – the most luminous and wonderful, and at the same time, most exasperating and troublesome of all the gifts we’ve been given.
It’s wise to learn early about consequences, and a gift to have a mother who can teach you.
I’m a grandmother. That means that some readers will automatically roll their eyes when they find I’ve written about my grandchild. If you’ve been reading this blog, you will recognize my grandson, who was taught about our invisible horses by his older cousin.
When I tell you this grandson of mine is a very bright, imaginative little boy—it isn’t just the praise of a loving grandmother you’re hearing. Here’s what I mean….
He was giving his mother a hard time again. This quiet, rather intense and focused young woman did sometimes have a hard time with her mercurial, super-active and irreverent four-year-old son. For not the first time that day, she put him in his room for a time-out, closed the door and walked away. Absolutely furious, TG flung the door open and stepped out into the hall. Reaching around the door, he turned the lock on the doorknob, slammed the now-locked door, and marched up to his mother. “Now,” he proclaimed, hands on his hips, “you can’t put me in time-out any more!”
This lovely daughter-in-law is not given to fits of temper. However, I can well imagine a fit brewing when she looked down at her belligerent child that afternoon. But this Mom, by virtue of her nature and her work, is a creative problem-solver. Turning away from TG, she went to find her tool box, and returned with it to the door in question. Methodically she unscrewed the hinges and lifted the door out of its frame. Leaning it against the hallway wall, she looked down at her wide-eyed son and said, “Now you no longer have a door at all. When you find that you can behave again, we will put it back. Having a door is a privilege, not a right.”
Shocked and a bit confused by his mother’s action, TG didn’t quite know what to make of the door situation. He attempted bravado, declaring that it was just fine to have a room with no door. TG, however, has a little sister who is nearly two. If you’ve ever been around a nearly-two-year-old, you already know what TG discovered: they’re into everything! There was no toy, no book, no puzzle, no monster truck that was sacred. It wasn’t long before he was following his mother around, wailing about his little sister’s invasion of his space. In response his mother repeated “Having a door is a privilege, not a right,” and TG began to see how that might be true.
Eventually he earned his door and it was replaced for him. It was a valuable lesson his mother taught that day. And in a way, a teaching that was very reflective of God’s love. She taught him that he might choose his behaviors and his responses, but he must be willing to live with the consequences of those choices. It’s called “free will” – the most luminous and wonderful, and at the same time, most exasperating and troublesome of all the gifts we’ve been given.
It’s wise to learn early about consequences, and a gift to have a mother who can teach you.
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